If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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