he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize