I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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