just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Never underestimate the power of titties
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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