I am puke
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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