I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize