John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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