If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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