Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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