i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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