We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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