Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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