I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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