babies were throwing up all over the place
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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