Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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