It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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