i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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