it was like eating out sand paper
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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