It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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