he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
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I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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