No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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