peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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