i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize