I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize