did you get engaged???
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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