I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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