p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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