I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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