Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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