I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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