I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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