I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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