And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize