Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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