I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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