you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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