OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just pynch a tree in the face
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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