so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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