are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize