How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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