Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize