One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just invented taco cereal.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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