Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize