Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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