not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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