I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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