she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
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REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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