So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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