i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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