Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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